As a casual fan of Britney Spears and someone who doesn’t follow the news all the time, I heard about Britney’s memoir because my partner told me about it.

I knew about her conservatorship and I’d watched the “Britney Vs Spears” documentary on Netflix some time ago.

I still had many WHAAAAT moments while reading the memoir.

I finished it in a few days and I was the third person who placed a hold on it at my local library.

I had to return it yesterday (can’t renew as it’s a new book), so here are my bullet point reflections on the memoir.

Bullet Point Notes

• How are her former conservatorship managers not in jail?! (I guess it’s because everything was “allowed” legally, on paper.)
• Her father is truly evil. I don’t go around calling random people “evil” every day, but I think it’s warranted in this case. The level of control he sought to have over her is appalling. I didn’t know that her brother was one of the conservatorship co-managers, too.
• Her father proclaimed “I’m Britney Spears now” at the start of her conservatorship. Who does that?
• Her parents would watch Criminal Minds at one point every night during her conservatorship.
  • Britney herself says “Who does that?” about this, on Page 192.
• Some of my favorite parts of the book were Britney’s own words on the conservatorship:
  • “The thing is, you can have a conservatorship that lasts for two months and then the person gets on track and you let them control their life again, but that wasn’t what my father wanted. He wanted far more.” (Page 166)
  • “The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child. . .Think of how many male artists gambled all their money away; how many had substance abuse or mental health issues. No one tried to take away their control over their body and money. I didn’t deserve what my family did to me.” (Page 188)
• She shared the age at which she first started having sex, and with whom. I think she was pretty generous with sharing details about some of her tougher experiences.
• The first half of the book was a bit lighter (pre-conservatorship days). It was fun and enlightening to read about her own input into her music and art, like her schoolgirl outfit concept for her “Baby One More Time” debut video.
• She shares that “Get Naked” and “Change Your Mind” are her favorite songs. And she mentions multiple times that the Blackout album is her favorite. Personally I like In the Zone too.

• She mentions cheating with Wade Robson (her early choreographer) just one time, after Justin Timberlake’s indiscretions.
• Side Note #1: I think her and Wade’s artistic/style partnership was incredible, somewhat like Kylie Minogue and William Baker. Wade Robson and Brian Friedman were the choreographers for “I’m A Slave 4 U.”
• It was engaging to read about her thoughts on her own womanhood (reminds me of her lyrics: “I’m just trying to find the woman in me…”) and her sexuality since she’s been sexualized throughout her whole life.
  • This includes her thoughts on misogyny, her relationships, and double standards. She had a heightened experience of it from being in the thick of it on a daily basis as a popstar under constant media and public scrutiny.
  • She also shares the painful treatment by the media / paparazzi especially after becoming a mother. The men in her life like Timberlake and Kevin Federline faced few (if any) repercussions for doing the same things, like occasional drinking and partying (even after she’d arranged for reliable and appropriate childcare so she could enjoy a few hours out with girl friends).
• She made a very poignant observation about her conservatorship. If she had a method for her yearly tax deductions and was able to follow choreography + perform during her Vegas residency and other shows, was she really mentally incapacitated to the point of being unable to manage her own life?
• Side Note #2: This makes her song “Work Bitch” (2013) even more chilling. She was deep in the confines of the conservatorship at this time, and the song title brings to mind her enslavers making fun of her for having to work throughout her conservatorship. And for directly profiteering FROM her work (her father was paid $16,000 a month for his role as Britney’s conservator, along with a percentage of her tour gross revenues).
• Why suffer so long for it? Why would anyone put up with these conditions?
  • In her words: “My boys.” Her already extremely limited visitation time to see her own kids was threatened to be taken away if she tried to rebel against the terms.
• It was so sad to read about how young/talented kids can be used as the family cash cow to support everyone.
• One of the things I was most shocked by was how restrictive the conservatorship was. Nothing was private including her sex life and what she could eat.
• One of the evilest things about the conservatorship was how it kept her manageable and under control as a girl without any autonomy or agency.
  • In her words: “The woman in me was pushed down for a long time.” 💔 (emoji is my own addition)
• I hope she’s able to heal and move on, and definitely keep a healthy distance from her exploitative family!

That’s a quick summary.

Check out the book for a much more in-depth look at some highs and lows of Britney’s life, the hypocrisy of double standards, and the horrors of being trapped in her conservatorship.

Other Links

1. Laurie Ruettiman (author of Betting on You) has an interesting thread on LinkedIn about the memoir. She shares her thoughts in her blog post titled Britney Spears: Exploitation and Human Trafficking.
2. Here’s one of my favorite Britney performances. Britney has good memories of this show in her memoir, noting that the angles were beautifully shot. The smile, fire, and choreography… 💖